Now that my littlest baby is thirteen (and a couple of inches taller than I), I am officially the mother of three teenagers. Ack. This article is not about their angst, they are actually all pretty mellow, happy kids. It’s about my angst in regards to being the mom of kids that are growing up way faster than I can handle. This is all about me, my vanity and my purpose in life.

I have one in college, one in high school and one in middle school. So when I visit the college kid and sit with the other parents in the stands at a game I feel relatively young. Hip even. Some of those parents already have grandchildren and their coed is the baby in the family. When I’m in the stands at the high school events, there are lots of moms my age, some are smokin’ hot and working their age like it’s their bitch. Others, not so much. Then I go to the middle school, and I’m in the “experienced” parent category. Translation: Effin’ Old.

Thank goodness I have other interests in my life besides the size of my ass. Now that my kids are so independent I have time for ambition, gardening and going to the gym. And while my looks are a priority because how I feel and how I look are strongly tied to each other, they aren’t THE priority. I get a great smile from being happy. And a confident woman with many interests is damned sexy.

It's time for someone to give it up. Not sexy. At all.

I was looking for examples of great looking women who dress age appropriate and somehow spiraled down into the black hole of the internet and wound up on which was much more inspiring than the original photos I was looking for. I’m actually feeling really excellent about my big ass right now.

So my advice to those who are in my saggy-old-mother-of-teens boat is:

1. hang out with people who are older than you and make sure you have a life outside of your kids

2. then hang out with people who are younger than you and enjoy your kids while they are still at home

3. don’t worry about the size of your ass so much, there are big asses out there. I promise.