Rock hard and ridiculously sweet!

This is not a preachy post about giving out fresh granny smith apples from the organic farmer’s market instead of candy for Halloween. People who do that deserve to get TP’d. Halloween is an opportunity to be absolutely ridiculous, with your diet and your costume. I’m going with old school candy this year.

Bubble gum cigarettes, sugar and bad habits - ALL IN ONE!

Smarties - they'll make you smart AND sweet!








What’s not to love about candy cigarettes? I might give them out just to start a mom-riot in my ‘hood. Maybe with some fake booze to wash em down.

And Smarties are like crack. I seriously can’t buy them until Oct. 30 or I will consume the whole bag and have to buy more. The great thing about vintage candy is that none of it is sugarless or sugar free, most of it will crack your teeth and the rest of it will take years to digest. Think wax soda bottles. Mmmm.


Wax filled with liquid sugar. Delish.

I’m pretty sure that the kids in my neighborhood won’t really like this candy, they will be looking for Nerds and Sour Patch Kids. The bottom line is that I totally don’t care what the kids like. (Imagine a cackling witch laugh here). Halloween is for grown ups too.

You can get these yummy throwbacks at Powell’s Sweet Shoppe and luckily Smartie Crack is still in your locally grocery store.